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As a mother, one of the most difficult things for me is staying present. As an introvert, it’s completely natural for me just to live in my own headspace, thinking about anything from politics to shopping lists to Hawaiian shores. My energies are definitely internally focused and I’m just not an outward person. I’ve had to try harder since becoming a mom, especially a mom to two toddlers. There really isn’t much luxury for “zoning out”! Even though I spent a lot of quiet time with Harry, I felt like I was still present with him at the very active age of two. It was a struggle but I still read books for hours a day. We spent a part of each morning doing a craft, going for a walk, or working in a workbook. There was always an activity focused on his growth. But poor Eleanor is getting the short end of the stick. My energy gets zapped pretty quickly with two kids and I’m definitely getting burnt out. My desire to work and focus on my own goals – spend time focusing on my personal growth – is definitely bubbling under my introverted surface. When she and I do get alone time, it is definitely not the same quality time I spent with Harry.

Some days, I worry that not being present means I’m not really soaking in this time with them, especially Eleanor. I’m not nearly as engaged with her some days as I was with the Hairball. And it makes me feel like the crummiest mom some days. I know these days will fly by. Soon, they’ll both be in school and I’ll have this vacuum during the day and I’ll miss all this sacred time with my teeny toddler (that’s how it works, right moms? They go to school and suddenly there’s nothing to do? I know, laugh. I know I’m delusional about that but Eleanor keeps me so busy that there has to be some downtime once they’re both in school, right?)

As 2017 approached, I worried about taking on any new personal projects. But I wanted to continue my growth somehow so I started a One Second a Day Project. Every day, I take a one-second clip of the day. It might be of the kids or it might just be of my tea. It doesn’t matter. It’s a tiny way of capturing a piece of my day and creating a month-end and year-end time capsule. I worried it might be a distraction from living LIFE. But so far, it is actually a reminder to stay present. It makes me think of the things I love about my life that day. I love the way Eleanor sings so loudly and quietly at the same time. I love how Harry is so inquisitive. I love that E wants to be a big kid too and wear big kid underwear. I love how much Harry’s drawings have evolved and his people have smiles and don’t look like crazy octopus zombies. And I love that he thinks he can hide in the mornings and we won’t go to school if he and Eleanor find a good enough spot to duck away for a while. And I love the way they always welcome Daddy home with big smiles and hugs.
So here it is… my Second-A-Day : January Edition. Here’s to staying present and relishing every tiny-person moment…

Thanks for watching!

Make sure you follow along this month’s blog circle. There are a some amazing photographers and videographers participating in the one second a day project around the world. Up next, go check out Sonia Marfatia-Goode Photography’s Second a Day Project!

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